


Other Futures

by keyboardclicks



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst that Didn't Happen, Gen, Seeing so many futures can be stressful, Wrote this at work while listening to the new ep, spoilers for episode 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 00:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16692289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyboardclicks/pseuds/keyboardclicks
Summary: Aubrey rolled an 11, and Indrid agreed to stay in Keplar.But what about the futures where she didn't?What about the futures where she didn't get the chance?





	Other Futures

From the time he was young, Indrid could see the consequences each of his actions would have. Each decision he made, no matter how small, sent his mind cascading into dozens of possible futures. He was always so well behaved as a child, so mild mannered and quiet, not because he had some outstanding respect for rules but because seeing the possible consequences of every action you or anyone else in the room takes is quite time consuming, and his mind had space for very little else.

Indrid always knew what presents to get for others, always aware of which options would elicit the most delighted response. But he also knew knew when people would live and when they would die. He knew if it would ever be his fault, even if he had never met them. He knew that if he chose to do this, something bad could happen, but if he chose to do that, a different something bad could happen. Existing at all was a burden.

Learning to focus his mind on particular outcomes he wanted to explore was an interesting and useful passtime. Learning to ignore himself and his decisions was necessary just to survive.

“You’re so incredibly special, Indrid,” his mother told him all throughout his childhood. “There hasn’t been a power like yours in Sylvain in… well I don’t even know how long! You’re going to be incredible when you’re all grown up.”

And he knew this was true. Even before he could manage his Seeing entirely, he was brought to the castle and asked all psorts of questions about the future, about which decisions were Right and which were Wrong. He wasn’t even one hundred when he officially became the Court Seer, and he was so proud because in all of the futures he’d seen, that was one thing that never changed. It was his fate, and for Sylvain to impart such an important task upon him? He knew it had to be a blessing. (Even if the job itself was kind of stuffy and formal and covered in way too much red tape.)

But eventually he had to leave. And now he has to leave Keplar.

They don’t want him to go, though. His friends.

“We’re all sort of in the same, shitty boat,” Aubrey says. And Indrid agrees. Because the futures where he doesn’t? Are horrible. In so many of them he says so many of the wrong things.

_“The same boat? Aubrey, I hate to break it to you but we aren’t even in the same body of water. I appreciate what you’re trying to say, but it’s... it's just not true.”_

So many possible replies.

_“What do you mean?” Confused concern._

_“Of course it is!” Anger, defensiveness._

_Stunned silence._

_“It just isn’t, Aubrey. When I get found out, people want me dead. When I get found out I have to pack up every little thing I own, run away, and **never** come back. I don’t keep so few things because I’m a minimalist; I love all the fun knick knacks and shit you can find here in this world! But there’s only so much you can put in a Winnebago, and even less you can pack up in a rush. _

_“Aubrey, if you accidentally used magic in front of a person, you could probably convince them it was an illusion, or magic show stunt practice gone wrong. But me?”_

_He slips off his glasses for the second time that day and instantly senses himself grow taller and wider, stretches out his wings, arms, and antennae, and sees dozens of pictures of things all around him all at once with compound eyes. He feels complete and whole and **himself**._

_“But if someone sees me like this, and I don’t get away? My life. Is. Over. And I don’t mean that metaphorically.”_

_He knows what's coming before Ned even opens his mouth, but he lets it come anyway; he wants to hear him say it._

_“Would you… mind putting your glasses back on, friend Indrid?”_

_Oh, how he wishes he could smile. It’s one of the strong advantages his human form has over his Sylvan one. He settles for a laugh and leans in so close to Ned's face that it fills half his vision, tilting his head slowly from side to side._

_“Why? Does this upset you?”_

_“I just… think we ought to be careful!” Ned assures in that unconvincing way of his, taking a deep step back when Indrid's arm brushes against him. “Ol’ Keithy might be knocked out cold but what if someone else comes by?”_

_“I see. So... you don’t find my Sylvan form unsettling whatsoever?”_

_“Well, uh…” he grumbles. “Maybe… a little…”_

_“It’s a little bit freaky…” Duck agrees. “I think it’s the eyes...”_

_Indrid laughs again, and this time turns to Aubrey while Ned scurries away in another part of his vision; he can see **everything** , present and futures all playing out like pixels on a TV screen, each incomprehensibly small. _

_“Aubrey, do you know what you can do to keep people from finding out that you can do magic? Don’t use it! Simple as that.” Except that it’s not. Indrid knows what it’s like to have magic set into your bones, running through your blood and heart and built into your soul; you can’t escape it. It will always be a part of you, always follow you like a shadow and creep up into your most innocent actions. “You don’t use it, and people will never find out. But me?” He slips the glasses back on, and watches relief flood the faces of his three ~~friends~~. “I have to put on these glasses and hide, just like everyone at the Amnesty Lodge is hiding, every day of their lives. I can’t ever dare to take these off if I want to live.”_

_“Indrid, I have to hide myself, too-” Aubrey attempts, but Indrid is done. He's playing, he’s done pacifying, he's done pretending that stuffing himself into a fake human disguise just to get by doesn't hurt even a little._

_“It isn’t the same, Aubrey!”_

_It is._

_“I have to hide myself, my very being!”_

_So does she._

_“This?” He slams a hand against his chest. “This isn’t the real Indrid Cold! That creature you’re so afraid of, so disgusted by, that’s who I am! That’s me! I’m from Sylvain and that’s the form I was blessed with and that’s what I always have and always will really look like! And he saw.” He gestures to Keith, still absolutely unconscious and definitely not doing well in the ‘continuing to live’ department. “And I know how this next part goes. How it always goes. I love humans and I love this world but you're all so easily frightened, and then your first instinct is to fight and hurt and kill the things that frighten you. So don’t tell me we’re in the same boat, Aubrey, because you’re in a lake but I’m in an ocean where if I make one wrong move, the sharks won’t hesitate to eat me alive. You can’t possibly understand.”_

Sometimes Aubrey argues with him. Sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes Duck tries to placate them both. Sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes Ned gets tired of all the yelling and stomps back to Barclay’s car. Sometimes he doesn’t. But in all of those futures, Indrid drives away. He doesn’t know what happens to Keplar and he doesn’t care. He learned so long ago that with the power he has, he has to either take care of others, or take care of himself, and he’s neglected his own being for the good of others for far, far too long.

But in the present, Indrid says nothing. Just throws his keys in the air, then catches them. Throws his keys in the air, then catches them. His mind works overtime to process the futures he sees and he itches for pen and paper.

Seeing all the futures is exhausting. He’s too tired to be mad. He doesn’t want to lose the only three friends he’s had in a very long time. He wants to see what’s going to happen with these goat people because all of the possibilities are weird as hell, and Indrid loves weird.

So he agrees. He gives Aubrey 48 hours, locks himself in this Winnebago with the unconscious goat person, and scribbles out all of the many futures that could come to pass until his hands are dry and silver with graphite.

A lot can happen in 48 hours. But Indrid knows very well that even more can not.


End file.
